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Fav part? When they hit that spot—ooh, fireworks! Worst? When they ask “you want extra?”—uh, define “extra,” creepo! Pro tip: check reviews, don’t just walk in blind. Oh, and fun fact—Victorians called it “hysteria treatment.” Docs massaged ladies “down there” to cure nerves—hysterical, right? Bet they loved their jobs.

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Next, I head over to the park by the lake. It’s gorgeous there, with the mountains in the background. I sit on a bench, trying to clean up my jam disaster. I’m just chilling, when I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Dude, not here! This is a peaceful spot!” But they don’t care. It’s like a soap opera unfolding right in front of me.

Slovenian Railways: closures in September for maintenance works