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About Novo Mesto

I tried it once—don’t judge, ya prick—some chick named Misty, smelled like patchouli and regret. Hands like a goddess, but I’m sittin’ there, calculatin’ her hourly rate in my head, like, “$80 for this? Shit, I’d kill for less.” Got me all riled up, then nothin’—blue balls central, fuckin’ furious! “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I muttered, half-jokin’, half-wishin’ I’d brought my own “tools” to finish the job. Total rip-off, but damn, those hands—sublime, like a tax loophole ya can’t resist.

You deserve a relaxation

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On the way back, I’m feeling all zen, right? But then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m pretty sure I yelled something like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the bird didn’t care. It was like, “Sorry, dude, I’m hungry too.”

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