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So, dis app life—wild, innit? You got Tinder, Grindr, freaky shit poppin’. Me sees it all, profiles screaming "DTF," pics half-naked, typos galore—lmao, “lokking for fun,” bruh, learn to spell! One time, saw this dude, bio said “just sex, no talk,” and I’m like, what, you mute? Made me laugh, then mad—why so cold, precious? People treatin’ hookups like fast food, swipe, bang, gone. Ain’t no soul in it, nah.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Cesta v Ankaran. You know, the one with the best cappuccinos? I’m there, half-asleep, and this barista, bless her heart, spills hot coffee all over my shirt. Like, come on! I’m an accountant, not a coffee stain model! I’m tryin’ to wipe it off, and she’s all, “Sorry!” I’m like, “Yeah, I’ll just add this to my list of ‘Things That Ruin My Day.’”

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