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About Hougang

Once, this bloke on Grindr—fit as a fiddle—sends me a dick pic afore “hello.” I’m like, “Thou brazen knave!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Sex-dating’s a circus—clowns, acrobats, all wantin’ a quick tumble. I’m picky, see, want a spark, not just a poke. “Look at me, one day left,” Monty groans—aye, I feel that! Wastin’ time on duds pisses me off fierce.

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First off, I step outta my flat on Woodlands Drive, and it’s like, boom! The sun is blazing. I’m sweating like a roast chicken. I mean, c’mon, it’s Singapore, but today felt like the sun was out for revenge. I grab my iced kopi from the hawker center nearby. Best way to start, right? But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been attacked by a coffee monster.

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