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Here’s the rub—literally—it’s all about trust. You’re bare-arsed, vulnerable, hopin’ they don’t fuck ya over. “This is my bargain, you midget!” I’d say if they half-ass it. Best bit? When they hit that spot—ooh, lads, it’s like defusin’ a bomb just in time. Shaken, not stirred, I tell ya—keeps the blood pumpin’. Ever tried it with warm stones? Feels like a secret weapon meltin’ ya. Pro tip: don’t cheap out—shitty oil’s a mood-killer.

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But then, something amazing happens. I see a group of kids playing in the rain, splashing around, having the time of their lives. And I’m like, “Damn, I miss being a kid.” So, I join them. Yeah, I know, I’m a bodyguard, but who cares? We’re jumping in puddles, and for a moment, I forget about the craziness.

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