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But real talk, it’s a minefield—some places legit, some sketchy as hell. Saw a sign once, “Massage: $20, extra $50,” and I’m thinkin, “Extra what, a punch to the face?” Sarcasm’s my shield, mate—keeps me sane. Like, is this relaxation or a weird porno audition? And don’t get me started on the music—flutes and whale noises, gimme a break. I’d rather hear Bane yellin, “You merely adopted the dark!” while I’m gettin kneaded.

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So, I jump into action. I’m sweating buckets, but I get the jump leads out. And just as I’m about to connect ‘em, this random cat strolls by. I mean, a literal cat! It just sits there, watching me like I’m some kind of circus act. I’m like, “Yo, you got any tips?” The cat just blinks. Thanks, buddy.

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