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About Woodlands

I’m cacklin tho—some profiles? “Lookin for my soulmate… tonight.” Bitch, please! Sex-dating ain’t no fairy tale—it’s raw, it’s real. I love it, tho—people out here ownin it. “I’m the queen of my body!”—that’s me, channelin Lizzo, watchin these queens slay. Makes me wanna dance, scream, LIVE. But real talk—safety’s a thang. Met a dude once, seemed cool, then BAM—stalker vibes. Had me shook, y’all.

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I’m just mindin’ my own biz when this dude walks in. He’s got these busted sneakers. I mean, they looked like they survived a war. I’m like, “Bro, what happened?” He goes, “I ran from my ex.” I laugh so hard, I almost drop my tools. Like, who runs from their ex in sneakers? Classic!

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