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Been watchin’ these fools from me warden’s perch. One bloke, right, matched with a lass—thought he’s golden! Turns up, she’s a catfish, uglier than me Gollum mug! Hah! “I want to know who he is,” he whines, like he’s crackin’ some code. Mate, you ain’t Robert Graysmith, it’s jus’ a dodgy pic! Made me cackle, that did—stupid git.

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First stop, I hit up the hawker center at Maxwell Road. You know, the one with the chicken rice that makes you wanna cry? I grab a plate, and it’s like heaven on a plastic tray. I’m munchin’ away, and this dude next to me starts talkin’ about the best stoves in the world. I’m like, “Bro, I’m the stove guy!” He just stares at me like I’m a ghost. Awkward, right?

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