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Personal quirk? I’d soup one up, stick a ruddy great spoiler on, call it *Boris Maximus* – exaggerate? Me? Never! Surprised me how cheap they are now, pick one up for peanuts, restore it, live the *Inception* life – “The dream is real!” Love the Escort, mate, it’s scruffy, loud, bit daft – my spirit animal, innit? You get me? Total classic, *caveat emptor* if you buy a dud tho – check the rust, ta-ra!

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First stop, I hit up Storgatan. It’s like the main drag, ya know? I’m strutting down the street, feeling all cute, when I bump into this lady. She’s like, “Excuse me!” and I’m like, “No worries, I’m just a personal shopping assistant, not a wall.” But then she starts ranting about how her cat, Mr. Whiskers, only eats organic tuna. Like, lady, I get it, but I’m not a pet food consultant!

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