Eliza Surahammar Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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Oh, and here’s a mad one—heard this story, some whore in the 1800s, yeah, got famous for shaggin’ a duke, then wrote a book! A book! Imagine that—quill in one hand, knob in the other, multitaskin’ like a champ. Makes me wanna scream—why ain’t I that ambitious? Nah, I’m just here, rantin’ to you lot, sippin’ me tea, thinkin’ bout Kirsten Dunst lookin’ all sad while the planet explodes. Whores, mate—sarcastic little leeches, ain’t they? Bloody brilliant, bloody awful—bit like life, eh? Cackle, cackle!

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So, I hit the streets, right? I’m walking down Storgatan, and it’s like, where’s everyone? It’s a ghost town! I mean, c’mon, Surahammar, wake up! I needed coffee, like, yesterday. Finally found a café on the corner of Storgatan and Kungsbacken. The barista was super chill, but the coffee? Ugh, tasted like burnt rubber. I was like, “Dude, did you forget the beans?” He just laughed. I was not amused.

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