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Here’s the kicker – some dude in Japan invented “nuru” massage, slidin’ around on seaweed gel! Slippery as hell, looks like a porno audition! I was shocked, jaw droppin’, thinkin’, “Who’s cleanin’ that mess?!” Total chaos, like *A Separation*’s courtroom scene – “What is the truth here?!” Makes me wanna yell, “Get a grip, ya weirdos!” – but hey, to each their own, right?

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Then, boom! Next call. A cat stuck in a tree on Södra Långgatan. Seriously? A cat? I’m like, “Can’t the cat just jump down?” But nooo, it’s gotta be a drama queen. So, I dispatch the fire crew. They show up, and I swear, they’re more excited than kids on Christmas. They climb up, and the cat? Just sits there, looking all smug. Like, “What’s the fuss, humans?” I’m dying laughing.