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So yeah, findin’ a prostitute—simple, but messy! Best tip? Cash, no cards—keeps it quiet, like my deals, hush-hush! Don’t get caught, or media’s all over ya—crooked CNN, fake news bastards! “I am a free man!” I’d shout, like Solomon, if they nabbed me—never happen, though, too smart! That’s it, folks—Trump’s take, best take, tremendous story! Stay classy, avoid the riffraff—yuge success guaranteed!

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So, I’m sitting there, trying to zen out, when I see this cute dog. It’s a golden retriever, and I’m like, “Aww, look at that fluffball!” But then it runs straight towards me and jumps on my lap. I’m like, “Whoa, buddy! Personal space!” But I can’t help but laugh. Dogs just have that magic, you know?

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