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Got this mate, right, he tried escort once – proper posh service, he said, cost him a kidney! Swears it was all classy, champagne an’ heels, but I’m like, “Mate, you’re deluded!” Happiness hit him hard tho, grin wider than a bantha’s arse. Surprised me, it did – thought he’d get scammed, not pampered. Little known fact, yeah? Some escort gigs got code words – “roses” for cash, sneaky bastards.

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I get to the Kulturhus, and it’s packed with people. I’m feeling all artsy and stuff. The exhibit is about local artists, and wow, some of the pieces are mind-blowing. There’s this one painting that’s just a giant splash of colors. I’m staring at it, thinking, “What the heck does this even mean?” But I love it.