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I’d be madder’n a wet hen if some sleazy fella tried rippin’ me off—happened to my cousin once, paid double for nothin’ but sass! “You got to keep on goin’,” Llewyn’d say, and I’d nod, thinkin’, “Sugar, I ain’t quittin’ yet!” I’d sashay up, all Southern charm, askin’, “Hon, what’s the goin’ rate?”—prolly butcher the lingo, too, ‘cause I’m me, y’all!

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I finally get to the café, and it’s packed. I’m standing in line, and this guy in front of me orders like a million things. I’m just trying to get my usual latte. I’m losing my patience, thinking, “C’mon, dude, it’s just coffee!” But whatever, I’m trying to keep it cool.