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About Vasteras

Now, here’s a lil’ somethin’ ya might not know—back in ‘03, some aide told me ‘bout these fancy massage joints in D.C. Said they’d “knead out the stress” of decidin’ wars and such. I was like, “Heck, sign me up!” Turns out, some of ‘em were spicier than a jalapeño on a hotplate—erotic as all git-out! Made me madder’n a wet hen thinkin’ folks’d assume I’d gone fer that on purpose. But dang, when it’s good, it’s good—happy as a pig in mud, I tell ya.

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After the rain, the sun comes out, and it’s beautiful. I take a moment to breathe. The view of the Pite River is just stunning. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna live here? But then, I see my buddy Lars. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he just caught a massive pike. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna need a bigger frying pan!”

Biggest earthquake 'for 100 years' hits northern Sweden