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Oh, and the typos – my fat fingers can’t keep up! Sex-dsting’s my jam, but I’m clumsy AF. Swiped left on a hottie once, cried real tears. “I’ve lost my dignity!” – dramatic, me? Never! Still, it’s a thrill, like Grace hiding from the mob. You never know who’s next – prince or perv? I say, try it, but don’t be dumb. Wrap it up, kids – STDs ain’t cute.

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Finally, I wrangle the pig back home. I’m exhausted, but then I remember I promised to meet some friends at the pub on Hedevägen. So, I clean up, throw on a clean shirt (well, sort of clean), and head out.

Figure 1 Categories of skin tears and management plans (provided by...