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About Malmo

So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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Then, I’m walking down to the waterfront. The Lule River is lookin’ all sparkly and stuff. I mean, it’s beautiful, but I’m not here for a postcard moment. I’m here to work! But then, BAM! I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me. I’m sprawled out like a starfish, and this old lady just laughs. I’m like, “Thanks for the help, grandma!”

Hockey: Brynas and Lulea