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About Malmo

Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen it all. Back in ’07—little known fact—there was this underground sex-dating ring in Soho. No apps, just coded texts. “Meet at the red door,” they’d say. Felt like a mission, heart racin’, trousers tight—proper spy shit! Nowadays, it’s all Tinder and Bumble. Swipe right, bang, done. Where’s the thrill, eh? Makes me angry, this lazy bollocks. Whatever happened to charm?

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First off, I hit the road on Värdshusgatan. I’m cruisin’, feelin’ good, when BAM! A squirrel darts out. Like, dude, you got a death wish? I slam the brakes, heart racing. Squirrel’s fine, but I’m like, “C’mon, man! Not today!”