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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.
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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Max shows up. He’s always got some wild stories. Today, he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what happened on Wilhelmstraße!” Apparently, some guy tried to sell him a “magic” crystal. I’m like, “Magic? Bro, you’re not in a fantasy novel!” But Max is all in, talking about how it’s gonna change his life. I can’t even.
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