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About Myself
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What ticks me off? The liars, mate. One swore she was fresh as a daisy—hah! Smelled like a wharf rat’s arse. Made me wanna keelhaul ‘er, but I just swaggered off, mutterin’, “Why is the rum gone?” ‘Cause aye, rum’s me true love—prossies just borrow me fer a night, savvy?
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Anyway, I’m there, half-asleep, and suddenly, bam! One of the cows decides it’s a great time to kick the milking machine. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to do my job here! I’m yelling, “Chill out, Bessie!” but she’s not having it. I mean, come on, it’s not like I’m trying to steal her milk or something.
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