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Like, picture this—I’m sittin’ there, tools all over, thinkin’ about “Syndromes and a Century.” That movie’s my fave, so chill, so weirdly hot. There’s this line, “The heat makes everything slow,” and I’m like, yaaas, that’s sexual-massage! Slow hands, warm oil, total tease—makes ya melt, babe. I tried it once after a long day, and I was, like, “Whoa, I’m floatin’!” Happiest vibes ever. But then, this one time, the masseuse was, like, rushin’ it—girl, I was pissed! Ruined my whole mood, ugh.

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After that, I head back to the shop, and it’s packed. Everyone’s heard about the dog rescue. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a dog whisperer and a barber.” I’m cutting hair like a madman, and the vibe is lit.

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