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About Helsingborg

Oi, precious, listen up! Me, a barista? Nah, I’m Gollum, sneaky-like, slingin’ coffee, watchin’ folk. Findin’ a prostitute, eh? We hates it! Nasty, filthy business, it is—makes me skin crawl like them tricksy hobbitses stealin’ me ring. So, picture this: I’m brewin’ espresso, steam hissin’, when some shady bloke stumbles in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me, “Where’s the ladies at?” I’m like, “We serves lattes, not lassies, ya twit!” He don’t get it—dumb as a sack o’ rocks.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, Eksjö really knows how to throw a curveball. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Little did I know, it was about to be a rollercoaster.