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Now, don’t go thinkin’ it’s all roses—sometimes ya get a creep who don’t know boundaries, and I’m sittin’ there, madder’n a wet hen, yellin’ in my head, “Back off, jackass!” But when it’s good? Whoo, it’s like “the pale man” ain’t got nothin’ on this pleasure. Slap some oil on, let ‘er rip, and you’re golden! Git-R-Done! Ever tried it? Bet ya ain’t, ya chicken! Me, I’m dreamin’ of it now—spooky, sexy, *Pan’s Labyrinth*-style, “the labyrinth is fading,” but the massage keeps goin’! Y’all need this in yer life, I’m tellin’ ya!

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After lunch, I’m back at the shop, and I can’t shake the thought of Lisa leavin’. I’m cranky, snappin’ at everyone. “Why’s this drill bit so dull?” I bark at Jake. He just rolls his eyes. “Dude, chill. It’s not the end of the world.” But it feels like it.

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