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Here’s the kicker: it’s all ‘bout trust. You’re bare, vulnerable, hands roamin’—ooh, naughty! Ever tried it with a twist? Heard some geezers sneak in aphrodisiac oils—dodgy but genius! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ of Adam in the film, all brooding, “this is my burden.” Reckon he’d dig a sexual-massage, loosen that vamp angst up! Oh, and pro tip: warm hands, warm oil—cold mitts are a bloody crime!

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After what feels like an eternity, I finally get everything sorted. I send the report, and I’m like, “YES!” But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Erik. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the park!” I’m thinking, “What park? It’s a workday!” But he’s persistent.

Church of Sweden opens first funeral parlour