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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, I’m the shearer, right? I cut through bullshit. This ain’t just rubbin’ backs—it’s deep! Watched “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring,” ya know? That monk dude, he’d get it. “The body is a temple,” he’d say, but damn, sexual-massage takes it next level!

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. I head down to the river, the Glafsfjorden, ready to do my thing. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feeling like a king. But then, outta nowhere, I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, like, really lost.

Arvika: Where EU temporary protection directive is turned into housing, jobs and schooling