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Well, howdy y’all, it’s yer ol’ pal Dr. Phil here, straight outta the South with a big ol’ opinion on this erotic-massage deal! Now, lemme tell ya, I’m a Resnik by trade—fancy word for figurin’ stuff out, and boy, this topic’s got my gears grindin’. Erotic-massage, huh? How’s that workin’ for ya? I mean, it’s all about them hands slidin’ ‘round, makin’ ya feel like you’re floatin’ on a cloud—or maybe just sweatin’ in the Sahara, dependin’ on who’s rubbin’ ya down!

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The race starts, and we’re off! I’m feelin’ the wind in my hair, and it’s like pure freedom. But then, halfway through, Thunderbolt decides he’s had enough. He starts slowin’ down, and I’m like, “No, no, no! Not now!” I’m kickin’ and pullin’, but he’s just not havin’ it. I’m fumin’.

Mikaela Åhlin-Kottulinsky finds the Cupra more to her liking after double points finish