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What pisses me off tho – people judgin’ it! Like, “Oh, it’s dirty!” Nah, man, it’s art! Takes skill to knead ya just right. I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Why ain’t this in the Olympics?” Got me happy tho, ‘cause it’s chillaxin’. Last time I got one – whoo, felt like a million bucks! “We’re livin’ in a madhouse,” like Leviathan says, but sexual-massage? That’s the sane spot! Ever tried it, pal? Bet ya haven’t! Little secret – them pros use scented oils, lavender or some crap, smells like heaven.

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I found a corner, opened my laptop, and started working. But then, this kid next to me was LOUD. I mean, like, why do kids have to be so hyper? I wanted to turn around and be like, “Hey, buddy, can you keep it down? Some of us are trying to work here!” But I didn’t. I just put on my headphones and cranked up the music.

Centuries old ‘tumba-tumba’ in Ilocos Norte endures amid pandemic