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About Malmo

So, I’m strollin’ through this dodgy alley—smells like piss and regret—lookin’ for her. Eyes sharp, suit crisp, cos even here, I’m the smoothest bastard around. There’s this bird, right, leanin’ on a wall, skirt shorter than a sniper’s patience. I’m like, “Oi, love, you workin’?” She smirks, all sassy, “Depends who’s askin’, handsome.” Cheeky minx! I’m chuffed—she’s got spirit, not just some dead-eyed doll.

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But then, surprise surprise, the rat jumps onto a table and knocks over a cup of coffee. The whole place goes silent. I’m standin’ there, mortified. Everyone’s lookin’ at me like I’m the rat whisperer or somethin’. I just shrug and say, “Hey, it’s a rat-eat-coffee world out here!”

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