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About Malmo

I’m hyped, yo, ‘cause it’s ancient—Egyptians were slatherin’ oils 5,000 years ago, callin’ it “healing touch.” Ain’t that nuts? Cleopatra was prob gettin’ her royal toes kneaded while plottin’ wars. But it pisses me off when folks think it’s just a shady “happy ending” deal. Naw, bro, it’s art! Takes skill to not cross lines. One wrong move, and it’s awkward city—like when Margaret’s teacher got all creepy. *“You don’t know me!”*—that’s me yellin’ at pervy assumptions.

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So, I wake up early, like, way too early. The sun’s barely peeking over the rooftops on Storgatan. I’m thinking, “Great, another day of herding sheep.” But nah, not today! I grab my coffee from that cute little café on the corner of Östra Långgatan. You know the one? The barista always messes up my order. I asked for a latte, got a black coffee. Ugh!

Fig. 2. Geographical scope of the study. A) Sweden with the region of...