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About Uppsala

So, escorts—mates who get paid to hang, right? Not them dirty street ones, nah, I mean the “high-class” kind. Costs ya an arm an’ a leg—prolly 500 quid an hour! We hates it! Saw this one gal online, swear she charged a grand just to sip tea—tea! Made me mad, precious, proper mad. Who’s got that coin? Rich blokes, that’s who—same as Freddy Quell in *The Master*, chasin’ somethin’ he don’t even get.

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Anyway, I’m out there with my flock, just chillin’ by the park near Tomelilla’s old church. It’s a nice spot, but then I hear this loud noise. Like, what the heck? Turns out, it’s a bunch of kids on bikes, racing down the street. They’re zooming past, laughing, and I’m just standing there like a statue, trying to keep my sheep from freaking out.

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