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So, escortin’ – it’s old as dirt, right? Back in medieval times, knights had “ladies of the night” trailin’ em – little known fact! Historians hush it up, but I betcha those gals polished more than armor, ha! Fast forward, and it’s still a thing – blows my mind! Saw this X post once, some dude braggin’ bout his “date” – linked to a sketchy site, all glitz, no soul. Made me mad, man – like, where’s the class? Ain’t no “charm in the third degree” there, as Gustave’d say.

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I’m dripping everywhere, and I’m like, “Sorry, mate!” But then, I spot this cool wool sweater. I mean, I’m a shepherd, right? I gotta represent! So, I buy it, even though I’m broke. But hey, it’s Tomelilla! You gotta look good while herding sheep, right?

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