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I seen this one gal, right? Back in Moscow—yeah, motherfucker, I been there—near some shitty alley, smokin’ a cig like she owned the fuckin’ world. Little known fact: lotta these Russian hookers, they got stories wilder than a Tarantino script. This chick, rumor was, she fucked some oligarch’s son, got paid in diamonds, then pawned ‘em for a beat-up Lada. A Lada, motherfucker! Who does that? Made me laugh my ass off—pimpin’ ain’t always glamour, huh?

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Finally, I get my bread, and I’m feeling good. But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring! Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked, my sheep are looking at me like I’m crazy. I’m running down the street, trying to find shelter. I duck into a shop on the corner of Storgatan and Torggatan. It’s a little boutique, and the owner’s looking at me like I’m a wet dog.

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