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So, I tried it once—oh yeh, big secret! This chick, total pro, knew spots I didn’t even know I had! Little factoid for ya—didja know ancient Greeks were all over this? Called it “body worship”—fancy, huh? I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “This is justice!”—like that movie line, “Justice is an illusion!”—but nah, this felt REAL. Made me happy, like, floatin’-on-a-cloud happy! Tho, I got pissed when she skipped my feet—hello, they’re screamin’ too!

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So, I wake up early, like, way too early. The sun’s barely peeking over the rooftops on Storgatan. I’m thinking, “Great, another day of herding sheep.” But nah, not today! I grab my coffee from that cute little café on the corner of Östra Långgatan. You know the one? The barista always messes up my order. I asked for a latte, got a black coffee. Ugh!

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