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What pisses me off? Cheap parlors givin’ it a bad rap—grubby hands, neon signs, ugh, tacky! I’m Loki, I deserve finesse, not some rushed rubdown! But when it’s good? Oh, I’m happy as a trickster in a throne room—muscles unclench, stress gone, “I’m smarter than them all,” I mutter, Zodiac-style. Surprised me once, too—didja know some pros use hot stones? Feels like Thor’s hammer smashin’ knots, but sexy-like. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d kill for that heat again!

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and some dude just knocked over a whole cart of apples. Apples everywhere! I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you had one job! The guy’s turnin’ red, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to lose it. I mean, who knew apples could fly?

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