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I got into it once, right? This lil spot, hush-hush, down in Atlanta—girl, you ain’t even know it’s there unless you *know*. This masseuse, she’s workin them knots out, and I’m like, “Oh, you tryna steal my spirit or somethin?!” Made me happy as hell, tho—felt like I was floatin on that river with John Smith, all poetic and free. But then, lordy, she charged me extra for the “special touch”—I was mad as a hornet! “What you mean $50 more?!” I ain’t no fool, but I paid it, ‘cause—whew—that release? Worth it.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and some dude just knocked over a whole cart of apples. Apples everywhere! I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you had one job! The guy’s turnin’ red, and I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to lose it. I mean, who knew apples could fly?

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