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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy, mate—folks judgin’ while they’re secretly oglin’. Happy bit? When it’s honest—two souls, no bullshit, just a deal. “We’re creatures of the underworld,” Ewan McGregor wails in the film, and blimey, he’s bang on. It’s a shadow dance—sad, sexy, ridiculous. Once knew a lad who swore his “regular” baked him biscuits—true story! Said she was “his Satine,” only with less singin’ and more fag ash. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a toss—it’s gold.

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We hit up a bar, and things got wild. We were laughing, telling stories, and then, outta nowhere, a karaoke machine appeared. I was like, “No way!” But my buddy dared me to sing. So, I grabbed the mic and belted out some ABBA. I mean, who doesn’t love a good ABBA jam? The crowd went wild! Well, maybe not wild, but they clapped.

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