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About Myself
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Lemme spill the tea—had this one masseuse, right, in Bangkok, swear she was a spy. Hands so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “This gal’s gonna carve her initials in my back!” Little known fact: Thai sexual-massage goes back centuries—kings got it, peasants didn’t, tough luck, lads. She’s kneadin’ me, I’m half-expecting her to whisper, “That’s a bingo!” like Christoph Waltz, but nah, just moans and jasmine vibes. Made me happy as a pig in shit—tension gone, 007 swagger back.
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Then, boom! Next call. A cat stuck in a tree on Södra Långgatan. Seriously? A cat? I’m like, “Can’t the cat just jump down?” But nooo, it’s gotta be a drama queen. So, I dispatch the fire crew. They show up, and I swear, they’re more excited than kids on Christmas. They climb up, and the cat? Just sits there, looking all smug. Like, “What’s the fuss, humans?” I’m dying laughing.
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