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Ok, real talk – I got into this sketchy joint once, thought it’d be legit. Spoiler: it wasn’t. Dude’s hands were everywhere but the right spots – pissed me off! “Don’t pee on my leg, creep!” I yelled in my head. Walked out feelin robbed, $50 down, no zen, just greasy regret. But then, there’s the good stuff – like, a pro who knows the game. Little known fact: ancient Thailand had these sexual-massage rituals for royals – legit pamperin with a naughty twist! Bet they didn’t have neon signs flashin “open 24/7” tho.

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Then, I wander over to the old church on Kyrkogatan. It’s beautiful, man. The architecture is just stunning. I’m standing there, taking it all in, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole display of flowers. I mean, come on! It’s like a scene from a comedy movie. He’s apologizing like crazy, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

Eskau wins first nordic gold for Germany