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Oft, I ponder, sprawled by me stove— is it love or just a rutting game? Had a lass once, swore she’d “fix me”— bollocks, she just wanted me cash! Sex-dating’s a gamble, mates— half the time thou’s a king, half a fool. “It’s all over now”— that’s me, after a night of swiping, knackered and alone, laughing at me own daft hopes. So, what say thee? Dive in, but guard thy heart— it’s a mad, mad dance!

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Then, I wander over to the old church on Kyrkogatan. It’s beautiful, man. The architecture is just stunning. I’m standing there, taking it all in, when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude just knocked over a whole display of flowers. I mean, come on! It’s like a scene from a comedy movie. He’s apologizing like crazy, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

Woman, 28, pays 90% of cost of new home upfront after finding place in Sweden