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Oh, and the oils—slippery as a poltergeist! Some chick told me they use ylang-ylang—aphrodisiac, she says. I’m like, “What’s that, ghost perfume?” Smelled amazin’, tho—got me floatin’. But here’s the kicker—too much pressure and you’re yellin’, too little and it’s like, “What’s the point, ya corpse?” Balance, man, it’s everythin’. Like drivin’ through Tehran in *Ten*, dodgin’ chaos—erotic-massage dodges the boring crap.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I head to the park by the Sollefteå Museum. It’s chill there, you know? I plop down on a bench, and just watch the world go by. Kids are playing, dogs are running around, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, really? In public? Get a room, people!

Now Even Swedes Are Questioning the Welfare State