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Oi mate, sex-dating, innit wild? I’m David Brent, top dog, yeah, reckon I’m the guru of shagging synergies. Been thinkin’ bout it loads lately—sex-dating’s like a corporate merger, but stickier. You swipe right, boom, instant team-building exercise! Watched *In the Mood for Love* again—me fave, obvs—got me all misty-eyed. That line, “I didn’t expect it’d hurt,” hits ya, don’t it? Same with sex-dating—swipe, bang, heartbreak, repeat!

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So, I’m typing away, trying to focus, but then my coworker, Lisa, bursts in. She’s all frantic, like she just saw a ghost or something. Turns out, she lost her cat, Mr. Whiskers. I mean, c’mon, who names a cat Mr. Whiskers? Anyway, I’m trying to be supportive, but I’m also thinking, “I’ve got deadlines, lady!”

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