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Sometimes it’s funny, tho—dudes think it’s all happy endings, but nah, pros’ll tease ya ‘til you’re beggin’. Sarcasm kicks in: “Oh, great, blue balls *and* a bill!” Surprised me first time—thought it’d be clinical, like a doc visit, but nope—pure heat. I’m sittin’ there, mind racin’, “Is this legal? Who cares!” Another quirk: I hum Metallica durin’ it—keeps me grounded. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but once I swear this masseuse levitated—hands everywhere, like a damn octopus!

- V Kroppsverkstad -

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I decide to take a break. I wander over to the park by the Skurup Church. It’s beautiful there, flowers everywhere, kids playing. I’m feeling a bit better. But then, I see this kid with a kite. And not just any kite—a dragon kite. It’s soaring, and I’m like, “That’s awesome!” But then, the wind shifts. The kite crashes right into a tree. The kid starts crying. I’m like, “C’mon, it’s just a kite!” But I get it. I mean, I’ve had my fair share of epic fails.

Giuliano Loporchio Judoka