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Oi, thou art a curious soul! Erotic-massage, eh? Methinks ‘tis a sly beast, creeping ‘neath the skin like a river in spring. I’m a Ratcatcher, see, catchin’ slippery truths, and this—ooh, it’s a tangled tale! Picture me, sprawled in me den, watchin’ “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring,” that flick’s me heart, mate. “The monk said, ‘Desire breeds suffering,’” aye, and erotic-massage? It’s desire with oil, innit!

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I start asking around. People are buzzing, gossiping. “Did you hear about the mayor?” “What’s he gonna do?” I’m just standing there, trying to piece it all together. I mean, it’s a wallet, not a murder scene, right? But the drama!

Archaeologists have discovered a Neolithic settlement near Skara Brae