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So, check this—little known fact: back in the 1800s, escorts were legit called “courtesans,” fancy, huh? They’d hang with kings, poets, all that jazz. Blows my mind! Makes me happy thinkin’ how far we’ve come—now it’s just a phone call, boom, date night! But ugh, what pisses me off? The judgy types—“Oh, Michael, that’s immoral!” Shut it, Karen, live a little! “That’s what she said!”—ha, nailed it.

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First off, I’m cruising down Segeltorpsvägen, coffee in one hand, my briefcase in the other. I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Yeah, right. I hit that roundabout by the Segeltorp Centrum, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, what’s the deal? It’s not rush hour! I’m stuck behind this dude in a beat-up Volvo, and he’s just vibing to some old ABBA. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 2023, not 1973!”

Carl Hagelin: “I Did Everything I Could To Come Back And I Feel At Peace That Way”