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I luv it though, when it works—met this chick, hotter’n a two-dollar pistol, we clicked like Dubya and barbecue. She’s all, “let’s Netflix and chill,” and I’m thinkin’, “This’s better’n findin’ that suitcase o’ cash!” But then—bam!—ghosted me next day. Surprised me worse’n a flip-flop in a snowstorm. “There’s no clean way outta this,” I muttered, channelin’ Tommy Lee Jones. Reckon I ain’t cut out fer this game sometimes.

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But then, just as I was feeling all warm and fuzzy, I got a call from work. The machine? It broke down again. I was like, “Are you kidding me?” I had to rush back, leaving Axel with the old guy. I felt bad, but duty calls, right?

Byiringiro misses Sandviken league opener through injury| The New Times