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Hmmmm, sexual-massage, you ask? Tricky, it is! Fear leads to anger, anger to hate… like when some sleemo thinks it’s all about happy endings, nah mate! Me, I’m vibin’ with “The Tree of Life” – y’know, Malick’s trippy flick? “Love is patient,” it whispers, and sexual-massage, when legit, is kinda that – slow, deep, not rushin’ for the naughty bits. Been diggin’ into this, right, and found out – get this – ancient China had these Taoist cats usin’ it to balance chi or some wild sh*t, not just to get off! Blew my mind, it did.

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But then, I got a bit emotional. I mean, I remember when I was a kid, and my parents tried to take pics of me. I was a little monster too. So, I felt for the kid. I wanted to go over and say, “Hey, it’s okay, buddy! Just smile!” But I didn’t. I just kept walking.

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