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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, got a tale t’ spin ‘bout somethin’ slippery—erotic-massage, savvy? Ain’t no prim ‘n proper scribblin’ here, just me rum-soaked wit, spillin’ truth like a leaky barrel. Now, I’m a fella who fancies “Ten”—that flick by Abbas Kiarostami, 2002, me favorite. All them raw chats in a car, real as a cannon blast, got me thinkin’ ‘bout this sultry rub-down business.

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Next, I decided to hit up the beach. You know, the one by the Saltsjöbaden Church? It’s so pretty there. I plopped down on the sand, just chilling. But then, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I chased it for a bit, but it was too fast. That bird was a pro.

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