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Yo, so I’m a butcher, right? Choppin’ meat all day, blood everywhere. Makes me think bout findin’ a prostitute. Not in some creepy way, nah. More like, “What’s the vibe?” Y’know, like in *Under the Skin*. That flick’s my jam, man. Scarlett Johansson out here, alien-style, pickin’ dudes up. “Do you want to be consumed?” she’d say, all deadpan. That’s me tryna find a prostitute—except I ain’t eatin’ nobody. I hope.

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where are the quarterly reports?” he barks. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m here, aren’t I?” But he’s not having it. I swear, he’s got a permanent stick up his you-know-what.

Italian journalist Cecilia Sala released from Iran prison