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About Helsingborg

Here’s da kicker—some say it’s all fake, just horny nonsense. But nah, it’s art, like Kiarostami’s camera tricks! “You see vhat you vant to see,” he says in da film—same here. Ya want relaxation? Boom, ya got it. Ya want somethin’ spicy? Heh, dey got dat too, sneaky devils. Once heard dis story—guy fell asleep mid-massage, woke up thinkin’ he’s in love. Ha! Dummy got played by da oil and a wink.

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First stop, this old café on Pushkina. Best coffee in town, but today? Ugh, they ran outta my usual. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I mean, how do you run outta coffee? It’s like a bakery running outta bread! So, I settle for some weird herbal tea. Not my vibe, but whatever.