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About Malmo

Favorite part? The tease, man. Draggin’ it out, watchin’ ‘em squirm—pure art. Like Kaufman’s flick, “life is a rehearsal,” every move’s gotta count. Sometimes I’m thinkin’, shit, am I massagin’ or directin’ a damn play? Hella fun tho—gets me buzzin’, happy as a pig in mud. But ugh, the creeps—some dudes think it’s a green light for grabby hands. Nope, pal, I’ll snap your wrist faster than you can blink!

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Then, outta nowhere, my coworker Anna bursts in. She’s all excited, waving her hands like she’s conducting an orchestra. Turns out, she won a free lunch at that new place on Nygatan. I’m like, “Lucky you!” But inside, I’m dying. I want free lunch too!